"Tsk tsk my electricity bill increased this month."
"Hmmp! My water consumption increased, too."
"Ouch! My ulcer attacks again."
"Hey, turn the TV off. There's nothing good in the news. It's the same PNOY attacked."
The common scenario in Filipino households. Never ending WORRIES over the ever increasing price in commodities, utilities and other daily expenses while salary is stagnant and no hope to get increase. There's nothing new and if one will just think of it in everyday of their busy lives, they will never enjoy living.
One fine Sunday, I happened to attend an Eagle's Connection activity hosted by the Alumni officers. In the course of the discussion, we were asked to listen and to share our life experiences which I did sincerely. A day after, I received a FB message from one of fellow alumni, she said, "Mabait ka ate, sana ako bumait na tsaka ang warm mong kausap." (You are kind sis. I hope me too become kind. and you are warm talking to.) I was touched by her message. It's just an almost two hour non-voice/voice conversation with her. Which means we've just spent some minutes in sharing and listening then most of our time were spent smiling to each other (The usual scenario for first time meet-ups) Yet, she was able to perceive me as such. I was glad leaving such impression by the way.
However, I also asked myself. Why despite of my real life situations I decided and chose to live lightly:
1. If you must know, I have a rheumatic heart disease. The 2D echo showed that for a normal opening of 3mm, mine is just 0.92mm (way back year 2011, today, I didn't know yet and I chose not to follow-up. Knowing will just speed up my death.) If only for myself, this disease won't matter but having 2 kids whom I loved so much and who depend on me, it's a different story.
2. Last 2012, not recovering yet from depression of knowing my sickness, my father died, then year after, my mother followed. Both due to sickness. I missed them. Very much. The thought of having parents even if seeing them once a year is far different than seeing them no more in flesh. My regret is trusting their belief of "Kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol."(If not meant to be, it will never be.) I didn't try hard enough to encourage my father to bring him in the urban hospital because of his fear of travelling far. And I let my mother do her usual activity in the province despite of her old age which caused her sudden death due to high blood pressure.
3. We're not well-off. Hubby and I are working on a regular employment and expecting 15/30 payroll. Then working hard on a freelance online projects. If we stop working, then, we will also stop eating and no more buying of daily needs then no more extra penny to satisfy some wants. Life it is.
The question now is WHY SHOULD I NOT LIVE LIGHTLY?
First, I have two kids who are the reasons of my smiles from the morning I wake up then sending me off to work with their numbers of kisses on my face plus their flying kisses and hugs till I come home and giving me kisses again. Telling me their stories for the day, filling my ear with their cute voices of the songs they learned, praying with me and giving me their hugs and kisses before going to sleep.
Second, I have a partner in life who is always behind me. Who backs me up in my decisions and give 100% support in my active participation in Alumni works. I am blessed indeed. Added to it, is having an understanding mother-in-law.
Third, I have friends, real friends. We may be living miles away from each other, but the concern and love for each other never ends.
Fourth, I have an alumni family. My #solid99ers family. The family I've gained from our Home away from Home, The Sisters of Mary School. It's a unique family where love exists even if we're born from different parents, raised from various ethnicities, grew from far away places in Luzon. We're siblings in Christ, united by our Venerable Fr. Al and taken cared of by our Mother Sisters who till now, their love and care never ceased.
Lastly, I am working in an environment where the Center is Christ. I have a very kind, understanding and supportive boss who in my entire 7 years of service to the company, never reprimanded me. He listens to my voice, consider my suggestions and never criticized me for my failure or job undone.
To sum it all, I can live lightly because:
- I see things positively. Yes, I am human, too. There are times I also freak out, cry and show my disappointment over matters that are not favorable but I don't sit into it that much. I find solutions over problems, work closely into it till it is solved. I am not fun of blaming but I see to it that lessons are learned.
- I live in the present time. As much as possible, I worry less about tomorrow. God is with me along the way and He never disappoint me. He show me the reasons for the whys and the answers to my never ending questions. I TRUST Him. From the morning I wake up till the time I sleep, I TRUST Him. Talking to God in every minute will do much than talking to your neighbor about the lives of other people. Talk to Him when you ride in a tricycle or in a jeep or in bus or even when you drive your own car. One time, my kids and I rode in a jeep. My younger daughter noticed a photo of the Driving Jesus displayed near the steering wheel. She asked me, "Mama, why Jesus is driving?" I told her, it means He is with us while travelling. So after we rode off the jeep and took a van, she told me, "Mama, Jesus is with us now, right?" Let us not forget, Jesus never leave us wherever we go, don't forget to greet Him on your next ride. To make sense, let Jesus be your Driver in your journey to life and you'll never go astray.
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- Most of all, bring with you spirit of gratitude. A grateful heart is a happy heart. Whether over simple things or big things, learn how to say Thank you. When you start saying thank you, you realize, everything becomes reason to be grateful.
